Don’t Call Him “Boy”: Reclaiming the Language Around Black Boyhood
Is calling young Black males “boy” a harmless nickname—or a heavy echo of America’s racial past? This post unpacks the impact of that one word and why how we speak to our sons matters more than ever.
Real Talk: What’s So Wrong With “Boy”?
“Come here, boy!”
Depending on who’s saying it, that phrase can sound like love—or like a slap in the face.
To some, it’s how Grandma always called her baby over with pride.
To others—especially Black men—it’s a word that still cuts deep.
We’re diving into a layered, sometimes uncomfortable, but absolutely necessary conversation in the Black community:
Should we stop calling our sons “boy”?
It’s not about canceling culture or being “too sensitive.” It’s about understanding how language shapes identity, trauma, and protection.
The History Is Loud: “Boy” Was Never Just a Word
Let’s be all the way real. That word has roots.
During the Jim Crow era, white folks used “boy” to deliberately disrespect grown Black men—on purpose. It wasn’t an accident. It was a tool. A way to say:
You’re not a man. You don’t get dignity. You don’t belong.
Fast-forward to now, and the sting hasn’t disappeared. Black boys today are still seen through a distorted lens:
- Studies show Black boys are perceived as older and less innocent than white peers.
- A 12-year-old Black kid with a toy is labeled a “threat.”
- A 17-year-old white teen with a gun is called “just a boy.”
We carry that history—and it still shows up in how our boys are seen, treated, and judged.
See how HEART Academy mentors help rewrite these narratives
The Unspoken Rule in Black Homes
Here’s something a lot of us know, but don’t always say out loud:
Don’t call your son “boy” in front of white folks.
It’s one of those unwritten survival rules—passed down from generation to generation.
Not because we’re ashamed. But because we’re cautious.
Because we’ve seen what happens when the wrong person hears that word with the wrong energy.
Even with love in your tone, it can still bring up feelings of being minimized, watched, or dehumanized. Especially for Black men in white spaces. It’s not paranoia—it’s protection.
But What If “Boy” Feels Like Love?
Now let’s hold space for another truth:
For Black mothers, “my boy” is sacred.
It’s how we cradle their innocence before the world tries to take it.
It’s our way of saying: You are mine. You are loved. You are still a child—even if the world won’t treat you like one.
It’s not the word that’s toxic. It’s the world that refuses to let Black boys just be boys.
Before they’re profiled.
Before they’re told to “calm down.”
Before they’re punished for being passionate, expressive, or emotional.
So here’s the tension:
Can we still say “boy” and hold on to love—without passing on pain?
Let Them Just Be Kids
Before the world demands toughness.
Before the stereotypes.
Before the headlines.
Let them be boys. Let them be kids.
That’s something our late founder, Tracy Morris, lived by every single day. Whether he was loading up the van for a camping trip, taking the boys swimming on a hot San Diego day, or introducing them to snowboarding for the very first time—he made joy non-negotiable.
He knew that adventure wasn’t just about having fun—it was about freedom. It was about showing our young kings that they were more than what the world says they are. That they had the right to breathe deep, laugh loud, and live big.
“Children just need the time, the space, and the permission to be kids.”
— RIP Tracy Morris, Founder & Executive Director of The Blue Heart Foundation
We carry that truth forward every time we plan a trip, lead a circle, or speak life into a young man.
Because language matters.
But so does laughter. So does legacy.
What Is a King? (Through the Eyes of Ancient Egypt)
When we call our boys “kings,” we’re not just throwing around a compliment—we’re speaking life into them with ancient power behind it.
In ancient Kemet (what we now call Egypt), a king—known as the nesu bity—was more than a ruler. He was:
- A Divine Representative: Considered the living bridge between the gods and the people, chosen to lead with wisdom, not domination.
- Guardian of Ma’at: Ma’at was the sacred principle of truth, balance, justice, and harmony. The king’s number one job? To protect that harmony—for everyone.
- A Builder of Legacy: From pyramids to policies, a king was measured by what he built for the people—not just for himself.
- A Servant-Leader: Real kings weren’t above their people—they stood with them, served them, and created space for others to rise.
So when we say “king” at The Blue Heart Foundation, we’re saying:
You were born with purpose.
You are a protector of truth.
You are powerful and accountable.
You build. You uplift. You lead with heart.
From “Boy” to “King”: Language That Builds
We say this loud and clear:
We’re raising kings! No matter how cliché that sounds!
Not because we want them to skip childhood, but because we want them to walk in power and purpose.
- King doesn’t mean perfect.
- King doesn’t mean grown too soon.
- King means worthy. Valuable. Whole.
We teach our young men that it’s okay to be soft and strong.
To cry and conquer.
To stumble and rise.
And that starts with the words we pour into them.
Not rules. Not shame. Just reflection.
So maybe the question isn’t “Should we stop saying ‘boy’?”
Maybe it’s: What are we calling them into when we speak?
Want to Be Part of the Change?
This ain’t about being “woke police.” This is about intentional parenting, mentoring, and loving in a world that’s already too harsh on our kids.
🗣 So what do you think?
Is “boy” a nickname worth saving?
Or a relic we need to leave behind?
Let’s talk about it—at the dinner table, in group chats, at youth events, and in classrooms.
📢 Join the movement:
- Share this post
- Start a convo with your fam
Or better yet—get involved with The Blue Heart Foundation and help us raise up the next generation of strong, emotionally equipped young Black men.
Final Thought: Words Shape Worlds
At the end of the day, this ain’t just about a word.
It’s about how we speak life into our children.
It’s about knowing when to say “king”—and when to let them just be a kid.
It’s about choosing words that protect, uplift, and rewrite the narrative for our boys.
Because they deserve that.
And so do we.
Want more community-rooted convos like this?
Subscribe to our newsletter, follow us on IG, or drop a comment below. Let’s keep building. 💙
Together We Rise!
At The Blue Heart Foundation, we believe in empowering African American boys by equipping them with more than just academic knowledge. Our mission is to nurture a strong, positive mindset, instill the value of higher education, and introduce the transformative wisdom of metaphysical principles. We are committed to helping these young leaders develop the confidence, critical thinking skills, and spiritual grounding they need to overcome obstacles, excel academically, and lead with purpose.
Email
support@theblueheartfoundation.org
Location
San Diego CA 92154
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