COVID-19 |10 Tips That Make Talking To Your Sons About It Easier

It has been almost 6 months since the United States first declared a national emergency as a result of the COVID-19  outbreak. And as this global pandemic continues to evolve, many parents continue to struggle to have conversations with their children that aren’t based in fear, uncertainty, or anxiety about the future.

We have all felt the impact of the coronavirus outbreak, whether it is from a loss of routine, the isolation that often comes with quarantine or social distancing, information overload from the news or the health impacts from the virus itself. But the African American community has been disproportionately impacted by this outbreak, which can make conversations about coronavirus with our children that much more difficult. With black people testing positive and even dying at disproportionately higher rates, and with the continued uncertainty of the coronavirus pandemic, how can we, as parents of young African American boys, manage our children’s fears?

Here at Blue Heart, we are committed to bringing you the latest information on the issues that affect our community today. Continue on for a list of 10 tips from experts on how to talk to your children about coronavirus.

Tip #1 – Welcome his questions

Experts at the Child Mind Institute recommend welcoming all of your child’s questions, even those that may be hard to answer. With so much uncertainty present, children often have questions that they may not be asking. Create a space for your child to share those with you, from his sillier questions to those that might surprise you. This approach will help your son feel heard and create an avenue for him to get fact-based information directly from you

Tip #2 – Check in with yourself

In creating a space that welcomes your child’s questions, it’s important to check in with how you are approaching the conversation. As parents, we know all too well that our children can pick up on what we aren’t saying as well as what we do say. Experts at the Child Mind Institute suggest taking time to deal with your own anxiety and be calm before having a conversation about COVID-19.

Tip #3 – Set the tone

Checking in with yourself will help you set the tone for your conversation about the COVID-19 pandemic. Now, you have the opportunity to filter information and set an emotional tone, as appropriate to fit your son’s needs. So, instead of relying on the news that he may have overheard or misheard, your son can rely on the information that you convey.

Tip #4 – Let him direct the conversation

While you should set the tone in conversations about the COVID-19 outbreak, the Child Mind Institute recommends that parents take cues from their children. Invite them to share with you how they feel about the coronavirus outbreak, what questions they have about the virus or what they may have heard. This way, parents have the chance to establish a counter narrative to any potentially damaging or scary thoughts that may be lingering in their minds

Tip #5 – Provide reassurance

In conversations about COVID, counter narratives will help you provide reassurance to your child by centering the conversation on what steps your family is taking to stay safe. Let your child know that it is ok to feel scared, but emphasize the safety precautions that you, your family, and those around you are taking to reassure and empower him.

Tip #6 – Stick to the facts

This next tip is a simple one – stick to the facts. As the parent, you need to consider your child’s age and developmental level in determining what is appropriate to share, but you should always share fact-based information. According to the CDC, it’s important to stick to the facts and address the rumors and inaccurate information that may be present in stories of coronavirus on the Internet and social media. 

Tip #7 – Address the risk factors

In sticking to the facts, you will encounter a harsh truth about COVID-19 and the African American community. In California, there are almost twice as many black people with cases of coronavirus compared to white people. This is especially concerning because there are almost 7x as many white people than black people in the state.

In conversations with your son about coronavirus, be real about the vulnerabilities that African Americans face, especially as it relates to African American men in society today. Use information from the CDC to help your son understand why these risk factors exist. As  mentioned before, use your judgement to determine what level of information is appropriate and what level of information could result in your child feeling overwhelmed.

Tip #8 – Focus on the positive

While black people have higher incidence and mortality rates across the country, our community is also the most optimistic and resilient as it relates to mental health. In a recent study, researchers found that African Americans generally remain more optimistic than whites do in the face of the pandemic. Notably, low-income African Americans remain the most optimistic race-income group and they report significantly better mental health than their low-income white counterparts. Be sure to focus on the positive in your next conversation about COVID-19 with your son.

Tip #9 – Prepare him for what’s next

Use resources from the state and the school district to help your son feel more certain about his academics for this upcoming year. This is a great opportunity to minimize uncertainty about the future, too. By keeping your child in the loop, he will feel more informed, which can also help to address any anxieties about returning to school in-person or online.

Tip #10 – Continue the conversation

Lastly, as the COVID-19 pandemic continues to evolve, it’s important to keep these conversations going. Let your child know that you will keep him updated. The Child Mind Institute suggests reassuring your child that although you may not have all the answers now, you will let him know as you learn more. Additionally, make yourself available to talk if further concerns arise for your child.

With the constantly changing coronavirus situation around the world, The Blue Heart Foundation recognizes that this is an unprecedented time for everyone. Our hearts and thoughts go out to each and every one of you. During these unusual times, Blue Heart is here to help parents and students alike. Learn more about our programs and resources here.